Do You Remember?
by Wanderlustlover
Summary: Smallville Holiday Carol challenge, Song "Where Are You Christmas"


Title: Do You Remember?

Author: Manda

Fandom: Smallville Holiday Carol challenge

Written for: CatHeights/ lj user"cheights" 

Song: "Where are you Christmas?" by Faith Hill, of the Grinch Soundtrack

Lyrics:

"_Where are you Christmas  
Do you remember  
The one you used to know  
I'm not the same one  
See what the time's done"_

Checking back over her shoulder, Chloe noted that the Luthor Christmas Charity Function & Ball was still just as pretentious and involved with itself as when she originally walked in about four hours ago. She'd gotten a few dozen of good quotes about the night, the Function & Ball past and present, and even a few rumors on what really was going on at Lex Corp. these days.

Luthor had brought in an ostentatious array of spotlights for the night, singers, dancers, and performers. There was even a whisper going around about an acrobatic act to come off with swings from the ceiling and some kind of grand bash finale. Because all huge parties thrown by Lex wouldn't dare stop short of utterly impressing even the most auspicious and doubtful of guests.

Walking out on the balcony she was surprised to find herself alone, without the few stragglers who usually tried to inhale their cigarette in three puffs and run back in without either freezing themselves or smelling. The silence, if it could be called silence with the rumble of the inside coming through the doors and windows, actually suited Chloe for the moment.

Looking back at the three sets of glass doors that lined the entranced and exit from the balcony she watched the people walking by. She caught no short sight of other newspaper and magazine writers in among the throng. This was the party of the season to cover. The Luthors always were that way. Front-page stories that sold top dollar.

She looked at the doors and their flawless paint job and the side trellises with their docile roses, heralded at the bottom balcony side of each with a bright red poinsettia. Both flowers outdoing the other and making it look almost tacky. She shook her head, but a vague smile did touch her lips. She'd been here before many times, but under very different circumstances.

Chloe walked to the cold, black rail and stared out at the busy Metropolis city before her, far enough that the noise was muffled, close enough to be a beautiful spectacle. The lights were glaring and comforting; normal city lights and all the extra strings and things put up for Christmas. It was all sort of magical, in a fashion that Chloe subscribed to on a yearly basis without fail, though few people knew that about her.

She liked Christmas. She liked the twinkling lights and the shiny ornaments sold in every store, even the ones that didn't do decorations any other time of year. She liked Christmas cards in her mailbox from friends and family near and far away. She liked getting presents and even more giving presents. She loved the smell of it, peppermint, sugar cookie, gingerbread, pine, cinnamon, and so many others. But best of all she loved—

Laughter filled the balcony because before Chloe could even finish her thought it began a soft drifting snow again for the hundredth time that night. She held her hand out to catch snowflakes, so that even as they melted quickly from her body heat, she could examine their minute and marvelous beauty up close before they were gone again.

"It's not the first snow of the season, but it still makes you smile," a warm voice said, as the door opened. And she was joined by none other than the party benefactor himself: Lex Luthor. He wasn't dressed in a tux, but in a tailored suit that even for being a suit would have outdone any tux he was standing by. He'd probably paid about fifteen times what any tux inside was worth, too, and without looking or caring. The additional touches in gold, cuff links and hidden pocket watch–if he'd never lost the habit–though she knew he did take care in picking out himself each time. He was eccentric, but he was in many ways old news for Chloe.

She knew him well, perhaps even too well, so she didn't put up a front for him. Turning her back from him, which she knew would only serve to pique his interest in her disinterest, she commented blandly, "Your little party is a grand success. You'll be on the cover of every magazine and newspaper tomorrow morning. As always."

"I'm sure they'll say wonderfully insightful things about it, too," he said, walking toward her calmly and casually. The clinks of the ice in his glass were the only sound between them when he paused, before continuing. "The general coy mentions of whose hand I shook and whose conversation I steered from, throwing in pictures of those I danced with or sat with, while detailing down to the last peanut what was served, who performed, and how many people were here, counting guests, wait staff, and reporters."

"Don't sound so droll about it, Alexander," Chloe said giving him a side ways glance as her newest handful of ice melted into water which was dripping between her fingers. "You'll make someone think you haven't been nervous with anticipation all day, just waiting for hundreds of people who stare with jealousy at the outside of your houses and buildings daily to go peeping through every room and belonging you have."

"I'm sure you'll keep my secret for me," he responded, the sound of amusement rumbling in his voice, though she caught the shift in his comfort by tone at what she'd done. "And aged pet names? You'll make me think your trying to sweet-talk me."

"Sweet-talk you? What would ever make you think that? After all, hasn't it been you who's conveniently avoided all my calls and messages for the last seven months?" She looked at him full on, with a smile that stretched half her lips up in a lopsided smirk, before turning back to the snow with an out stretched hand again. "And secrets kept for you? Never. Journalistic integrity to report the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god."

"So help me god?" Lex scoffed, though she caught the flash of amusement in his eyes before he hid it behind getting another drink.

"Or whatever PC personal deity you'd like to be quoted on worshipping," she answered, smartly. "Not that I'd advise looking into it. You've never seemed to have such a lucky streak with your 'faithful' relationship last I checked."

He laughed in his hand, the one without the drink, and smiled, "I'm sure I'll try my best not to miss your next call."

"I'm sure you will," she mimicked, mocking his tone and his smile as she turned back from leaning over the railing with her snow again. She let her back lean against the rail, even though she could feel the bite of the cold metal straight through her dress. One of her eyebrows raised as she spotted the two behind him, one inside the door and one outside, both large as mountains and looking ready to bust down on her at any given second. With a nod to the door she asked, "New staff? Their outfits are better the wait staff."

"Personal bodyguards," Lex replied, without evening looking back toward them. "Mercy's the one with us and inside is Hope."

"Hope and Mercy?" Chloe queried, repeating their names with a flood of hilarity under her tone. "Oh, that's just too precious. Do they come with matching male partners named Charity and Kindness?"

"I wouldn't suggest you poke them too hard. They're both wound rather tight," he said, side stepping to stand on the other side of her looking out toward the city now.

"I don't think you'd let them," Chloe said to Lex, even as she gave a syrupy smile to the one called "Mercy", deciding it truly was a creepy name for the large muscle-bound woman with tight, pulled back blonde hair who looked just too calm for comfort and definitely, definitely, not merciful as her name implied.

"You're probably right, but why don't you wait till a more appropriate time to test your theory. Like the next time you try to break into my building by flirting with my desk clerk," Lex advised calmly.

"What can I say? He was cute," Chloe shot back, as her lips started to firm.

"And you were impertinent," he replied, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he finished off his drink.

"You didn't press charges," she said softly after a second, kicking herself for thinking all this time she'd gotten off without being caught or found out. She'd thought any day after then that there'd be an arrest warrant or notice, especially after her article on the things she'd recovered.

"I can think of a few things I owe you for still," Lex said, quietly, his eyes straining toward the bright city behind her. Even when she turned to face him, he kept his gaze averted to that unending lady and mistress of money and muck.

She remembered it was one of the reasons she'd grown to not like him, which reflected in her words when she started, "This is the way it always is with us, isn't it? I shouldn't be surprised you don't answer my calls. We're terrible when we're together."

"I thought we were wonderful–"

"Yes, so wonderful that I wanted truth, while you were content with shadows, masks and lies," she hit back too sharp and too fast to even stop the words from coming out of her own mouth. She winced and thought to say she was sorry, but it never came out of her mouth. She just couldn't bring herself to say it, even when she parted her lips, and she found that even after moving on with her life just being next to him seemed to take her back to being twenty-one and torn by the real truths.

When he didn't say anything though was when she finally lifted her chin to look back at him. He was standing facing her now, just looking down at her. And as she looked up, she expected the outraged face she'd gotten when she'd thrown those words at him years ago, but there was a calmness to the face that looked down at her, almost a sterile and pristine quietude.

"Do you remember those dinners we all used to go home–go to Smallville for?" Lex asked gently, not correcting his lapse and staring down into her curious, repentant, and passionate eyes. "The ones for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break? And sometime the rare random ones in summer?"

"Of course," Chloe replied, hesitantly.

The dinners had lasted for years. Lex and Chloe in Metropolis, one for business and the other for school. Clark traveled, while Pete and Lana stayed home. They'd always be separate in their goals for life, but the dinners served to bring them back together each year, many times. To share there joys and sorrows and be a family all over again.

But the amazing only lasted so long. The dinners had originally broken up with the intimate relationship of Clark and Lex coming to a gory, emotional end. It was the reason why no one addressed that certain chairs were suddenly empty, and then once Clark had found out about Lex and herself, it got worse. Nothing but Lana and Pete's wedding had ever actually brought them all back together again.

It had passed in its time.

"Me, too," Lex whispered, reaching up to grace one of her cheeks with his palm. He stared down into her eyes, watching the confused and frightened emotions scatter across her eyes as she readied herself to step away from his touch. He released a second later as he stood back and shook his head, repeating. "Me, too."

Her heart was beating so loudly in her chest that she was surprised Lex himself couldn't hear it. Even with him stepping away she wasn't sure what was going on. A moment ago there'd been safe if snarky conversation, which they always did so well at, and then he'd gotten all intense and his eyes had been filled with dark, deep shadows that seemed to trap the voice he had used to speak those small words.

"You should go back into your party. I don't want, I mean, mean to be keeping you and I have an article to write for tomorrow morning," Chloe said, swallowing her heart back into her chest, even if it didn't want to listen. Not to mention she'd have a hell of a time explaining to herself tomorrow why she'd abandoned Lex on a balcony when she'd been pressing for an interview for months.

"Perhaps, you're right," Lex responded with a nod.

And it seemed like a curtain dropped down across his face to her. Like every vestige of that lost boy in his "Me, too's" was suddenly gone, which terrified her more. He turned and started walking for the door and she watched him go. Like a million other times, and even one specific goodbye in her memory. She wanted desperately to call out to him, but she wasn't sure what to say, so her hand shook with nervous energy.

"Oh, and Sullivan?" Lex called as he opened the door. His gaze piercing blue from even the whole distance of the balcony rail and door, making her wonder if this was the real him talking to her or some false visage. The pleading look in his eyes but not his face, making her long to listen as he kept speaking. "Feel free to come save me from the masks, lies and shadows tonight. I need a reminder that this season is sometimes just about the simple joys."

He'd made a gesture toward the sky at his last words, she assumed about the snow and herself, but then he was gone. And she was standing in the snow alone. A last look from Mercy, rigid, sour and tight-lipped, passed as the door opened and closed again. She was truly, completely and utterly alone on the balcony where she'd once upon a time had many late night candle light dinners and even once danced naked with Lex to his favorite classical music.

Chloe walked slowly to the glass door, letting her fingers pet over the wood methodically. She really should have been thinking about her story, but she wasn't. She now stared very deliberately through the glass at Lex and his phony smile as he made his round through the chord, beginning to shake and kiss hands again. His words lingering in her ears interrupted only with Faith Hill's singing on the main floor in the first room.

_  
I Where are you Christmas? Do you remember, The one you used to know? I'm not the same one, See what the time's done /I _

She hadn't even wished him a Merry Christmas, Chloe realized.

Her fingers searched for the door handle as her eyes refused to look away. This wasn't a smart thing to be contemplating. Lois would be first in line to tell her that this was actually rather stupid. Lex had done a good job of breaking hearts on his final exit of Smallville and the Smallville lives. He'd only said tonight, but the pounding in her chest wouldn't end tonight and when he didn't call back tomorrow morning the breaking of it would start anew.

So why was she walking through the hall on a direct path for Lex, who'd spotted her entrance and was actually maneuvering toward a different room? This was stupid. It really was. They'd make nice. They'd make love on the silk sheets. And it'd be over in the morning. If it even lasted past the next two or three hours, she'd be surprised.

Chloe stepped into the ballroom and frowned when he was nowhere to be found. He was gone, and her heart stabbed her in rebellion at that thought. It was for the best she thought with a sigh. She reached up and rubbed the side of her neck, telling herself she was too old to imagine saving people the way she did when she was sixteen. It was smarter to be safe and not–

"Don't tell me you've given up already?" Lex said, holding up a rose when she turned back to the door of the ballroom where he stood off to one side, as though he'd been watching her. She went to open her mouth, but he step foreword toward her, saying, "Dance with me?"

For a moment, Chloe did nothing, staring between the delicate white rose in his hand and the strength of the look in his eyes as he moved so much closer to her. Then suddenly, almost as surprisingly and radiantly as the snow had started falling earlier, a smile broke loose across Chloe's face and she held a hand out to him.

Her voice filled with conspiratorial amusement, "I'm sure one or two can't hurt me, but then I must tell you I have to find the benefactor of our party, to interview him."

"Why ever would you want to do that?" Lex replied, spinning her into his arms as they stepped out on to the dance floor. "I have it on good authority that he's a terrible bore and a womanizer."

"Is he?" She remarked, her voice going soft and breathy when he pulled her in close. It was like being hugged by him, except to the music. And to her own amazement her feet and her body remembered what he'd taught them so long ago. "Perhaps that's all the more reason to see him. Then I could work my feminine wiles on him, while completely catching him off guard with my sparky journalistic wit and my simple Christmas joy. He'll never know what hit him."

Lex laughed softly, a feeling that shook from inside his chest before it came out next to her ear. But it was his voice, soft and low, and so clear she never doubted its truth, when he whispered, "Oh, how right you are."


End file.
